I attended GenCon last week, and I played a lot of games. I played a lot of bad games, I played a lot of great games, and I played a lot of great games badly. Mice and Mystics was definitely one of the great games I played. Did I play it badly? I stretch no truths telling you that I am The Worst Mouse™.
We encountered perpetual lines of eager gamers waiting to demo this game on Thursday and Friday, So Saturday morning when the doors opened, my wife and I elbowed a cute pixie, nine people dressed as the 11th Doctor, and a Super Saiyan with a glandular disorder out of the way to reach the table in time to grab the last two open seats. Across from us sat two other excited adventurers who were also unable to play the previous days, and after some quick introductions the demo began.
The game is about a group of mice that must find their way through a castle dungeon while fighting rats, roaches, and centipedes. You collect cheese along the way, all important cheese that powers your special abilities, gives you hope, and tastes yummy.
Our mice were assigned to us randomly. My wife was Nez, a burly smith with a two-handed battle hammer (fitting, in truth). Prince Collin, a dashing swashbuckler with a sword, and Tilda, the healer with a giant mace were assigned to the ladies across from us.
I received Maginos. He casts spells poorly and has a stick.
“Stop or I will point a stick at you!”
We began the game in earnest with the others striking down some attacking rats. Instead of fighting with my long stick, I bravely hid and searched for cheese. What did I find? Nothing! Why? I am The Worst Mouse™.
The others were loaded with cheese, as it burst forth from fallen foes like geysers of yellow blood. Prince Collin, who I was quickly beginning to distrust, was swimming in cheese like Scrooge McDuck in a strange world where cheese is currency.
Since the others cleared the room of bad guys, we decided to move on. We dropped through a drain and into fast-flowing sewer water. Rats closed in us from the sides! The others quickly scampered out of the water. I tried and failed and was slowly swept away by the current. Because I am The Worst Mouse™.
I finally made it out of the stinking sewage, just in time to see Nez fall to the bite of a vicious centipede. Prince Collin handed me some of his cheese, which caused me to flash hot with anger and jealousy, but there was no time! As Tilda rushed to try and heal Nez, I quickly nibbled the Prince’s cheese, which allowed me to loose a crackling bolt of Chain Lightning! This attack dramatically missed all the attacking creatures by a wide margin!
Despite all my rage, I am still just a horrible mage.
Because I was unable to destroy any of the creatures, Tilda quickly succumbed to the centipede, followed by the piercing death rattle of Prince Collin. I felt a deep loss for sweet Tilda, but Prince Collin pretty much got what he deserved. Suck it, cheese eater.
Having eaten everyone else, the centipede turned its full attention toward me. I felt, for lack of a better phrase, like a rodent lost in a labyrinth. Actually, there is probably a better phrase for that. As his shadow loomed over me, and I failed my defensive rolls like a pro, my last thought was, “I am truly The Worst Mouse ™. Ever.”
badaftertaste 